I never realized how much I hate to journal.

Journaling means pausing when I want to run.  Recounting when I want to advance.  Expressing when I want to just do.  I don't want to journal.

I just had a great meeting with a ministry partner and I have to slow down to write about it for my leaders.  I don't want to do it.  There's something that seems so anticlimactic about stopping to write down what just happened.  It seems to rob from the energy of the moment, rob from the zeal of getting things done.   Journaling takes thought about how to communicate and even though I'm a fast typist, slowing my thoughts down enough to communicate them with words seems a bother.

I hate to journal.

I love to read journals.  An argument could be made that much of the New Testament and, really, the whole Bible is the fruit of Spirit-inspired journaling.  How would we know what happened on the way to Macedonia if the Spirit hadn't reminded Luke what to write down in Acts?  How would we know what Samson did if someone hadn't written down the details for God to incorporate into Holy Scripture?  I'm so glad that someone took the time to write down events of their day, events of their lives, movements of God so that I could read them.

So, I hate to journal, but I love to read journals of godly people.  Hmm.

Fortunately, I'm learning every day to live beyond myself.  God teaches me to live according to the Spirit of God and wisdom, not according to my fleshly desires.  "Put to death what is earthly in you..." (Colossians 3:5)  So, if I do that, I no longer live according to what I feel like doing, but according to what is best.  So, I must journal.

How do I get there though?  If I journal out of compulsion to do the "right thing," I'll surely be bitter (if not now, later.  That's why so many people are burnt out on church and spiritual things already.  They've been told what to do but not told how to get there or walked through the process of how to do it well.)  Well, the answer is not in sucking it up and doing what is right.  Not this time.  No, the answer is to consider the character of God, trust His ways and consider the outcome of the lives of the people who lead me.

They want me to journal so that others can read what God does in my life and be encouraged when they face similar situations in church planting.  They want a record of God's work in us so others can see and hope for God to work similarly in them.  My journal will serve as a road map of what pitfalls to avoid and what strengths to seek for others!  When I consider this, examining the righteous path and pondering the righteous motives of my leaders, I can journal with hope and joy.  It still hurts to slow down, but now the hurt is like the pain of exercise; hopeful pain.

So, off I go to journal.  I'll write so that others can hope.  I'll share so that others can be encouraged.  I'll slow myself down so others can speed ahead!

...if only lima beans and brussel sprouts had eternal value too.  :-)