As you may know, we've recently left the church we've been part of since June of '07.  This time (between leaving and next steps) is very challenging. 

      Of course, there are the challenges to walk by faith and trust in God for our family's future.  No one would be surprised at those challenges; they're part of being human, having mouths to feed and enjoying comfort- we want to have security.  There's another type of challenge, though, that is more unique to being in ministry.  This is the challenge of being simultaneously zealous, personally invested, passionate and loving while being composed and mission-driven.  I'm not sure I'll ever figure this one out and resolve this tension.  I'm not sure if I should.

      As I read 1 Thessalonians this morning, I was struck by the overwhelming amount of personal investment Paul had with the people he cared for and ministered to:

"So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us." 1 Thessalonians 2:8 (ESV) 
 
      This is a picture of a man (and his ministry companions) who was utterly devoted to seeing people grow in their faith.  He was committed.  So fully committed, in fact, that Paul did not hesitate to say to the very people themselves, that he shared "the gospel" and "also our own selves."  Gutsy move unless it's true, eh?  I mean, when is the last time you said to someone, Hey!  Let's have lunch again, this time, I'll be even more of a good listener to you than I was last time.  That's essentially what Paul's doing; calling attention to the investment he made in the people he ministered to.   He reminds them that he shared the Gospel (his ministry content to communicate) and himself too! 

      The Greek word he uses is psuche, meaning life, self, soul -from which we get the word psyche and psychology.  So, for Paul, when he ministered to God's people "who had become very dear to" him, the result was a total investment.  Paul brought the primary content of his ministry: he was active in teaching, preaching and laboring to communicate the message of Jesus Christ.  He also brought all of himself: his energy when he had none, his time when he was overwhelmed with tasks, and his emotions when he had nothing to give.  That's the kind of pastor Paul was.  No surprise either, since Jesus, Paul's Lord, was the same way during his earthly ministry! 

      That is the kind of pastor I want to be. 

...Read on to Part II